It seems like when you hit 20 weeks in a pregnancy that things fast forward. When you are in the first trimester and sick as a dog it’s like the weeks crawl by and then poof you’re halfway through your pregnancy and the weeks start coming even faster. Is it just me?
This week has been an emotional one, my hormones hit hard and I was your typical pregnant cry baby. First baby emotions hit hard. Mykenzi has been growing up so fast and especially the last couple of months. I’m loving this age and I’m so scared that having another baby will take me away from her or change her personality and I don’t want either. Typical second pregnancy feelings from what I understand, but that didn’t stop me from crying and eating my sorrows away. The realization of being halfway through this pregnancy has me trying to soak up every single second that’s left of Mykenzi being an only child. I’m scared of two, I’m scared of the chaos, I’m scared of being able to handle it, while at the same time I’m so excited to watch Mykenzi grow into a big sister, experience life with a son, and watch our family evolve into a family of four. My feelings are literally everywhere and I can’t seem to keep the emotions reigned in either. All a part of the process, I suppose.
The other half of my emotions I can thank anxiety for. I’m such a 5 year old when it comes to storms. If you’ve been a longtime reader or know me in real life then this is one of the things you’ve come to know about me. I don’t do thunderstorms and I surely don’t do any type of Tornado warnings and I was graced with both this week. We had a strong system move through and of course it had to be a night when you cant see any tornadoes coming at you. I don’t know exactly where this fear comes from or where it started but I can tell you that pregnancy heightens this fear like crazy! If Xanax were safe in pregnancy, I probably would’ve taken about four of them. A tornado touched down about 2 miles from where my Mom lives and we basically watched it live on the Local New’s Bridge Cam. Needless to say, we got no sleep til about 1am when everything was said and done. Not my favorite week for weather on the Gulf Coast.
Just for fun, I thought I’d take a stroll down memory lane this week and look at what 20 weeks looked like with Mykenzi in 2014.