I bet y’all thought I fell off the face of the earth, huh? Well, surprise! I am indeed alive. There are a million and one reasons I’ve been so quiet on the internet, and it is NOT because I’m pregnant. Let’s just go ahead and clear the air on that one. The only way that is happening is if there is too much alcohol and not enough responsible decision making, and let’s cross our fingers that doesn’t happen.
This was probably the most unintentional break I have ever taken. I even had a post I was preparing to go live a few days after my last one, and life just kept throwing punches. (Sorry, Julie! I swear the post is coming!)
It all started with the flu. Mykenzi got it, then passed it to Rowan. Dad went down for the count, and all the while I thought I was Mommin’ and Wifen’ the shiz out of that flu, I turned around and got Pneumonia. Since then, it’s been a respiratory infection after respiratory infection and stomach virus after stomach virus for the whole family. We have literally been sick all of 2018. I had all these grandiose plans to be healthier in 2018, and then God laughed and said, not this year, and I got pneumonia for the second time.
I did manage to pinpoint the culprit, and finally, we are all slowly on the mend. Thank god, because I was literally about to go insane.
In the midst of wearing vomit, and wiping snot from every surface of my home, my anxiety hit overdrive and it’s been a rollercoaster trying to find the right medication that works for me, which has kept me from this space. I wanted to share what was going on, but at the same time, I didn’t want to share anything with y’all. I felt so trapped and felt obligated to tell you why I wasn’t posting on Instagram, which made me not want to post even more. Plus, I was having a pity party of not having anything to post except snot and vomit, and I’m pretty sure y’all didn’t want to see that. You’re welcome.
When I started writing, it was fun. Over time, this blog has grown and while I’ve loved the journey, you’d be surprised the work and maintenance that comes with this space. It’s not just a sit down and write a post kind of thing. You take pictures, you edit pictures, you write the post, make it sound interesting, you share on all your social media so you can grow even more. I’m talking hours and hours of time. It can be exhausting. That, plus my whole family being sick, I just shut down. If you know me personally, you know when I shut down and shut everyone out, it’s pretty serious. It’s a part of me I’m still working on. In those moments, I get so numb and overwhelmed with emotions that I can’t effectively communicate, so I push them down, and push the world out. It’s my very unhealthy coping mechanism.
It has been a trying year so far, and I’m really hoping things look up from here on out. My hope is to start posting regularly again, even if it’s just a photo dump and no words. I miss this space, and most of all, I miss this community of women.
Also, thank you to all those who messaged and commented to check on me when I went radio silent. To know that you all were thinking of me, warmed my heart, and reminded me why I started this space in the first place.